What Was I Thinking?

 A snippet on why I started Black Women Weed

 I remember vividly the very first time I smoked weed. I had come home from college to visit my mom in an apartment complex she moved out to temporarily. I befriended a funny and sweet, but wild girl who lived in the complex. We were hanging out with the crew, just the four of us and one of the guys pulled out a sandwich bag with the weed tied up, squished into the corner. Then he looked at me and asked “you smoke”? 

Now I was never one to be embarrassed by my innocence, so I told them honestly that I had never smoked before. 

The range of emotions that came across their face still sits with me to this day. It is the same mix of emotions I get when I get to pop that green cherry of someone else's. I consider it an honor to pierce those virgin lips. It is a combination of amusement, curiosity, and vicarious excitement. 

I don’t even remember them asking me if I wanted to smoke, he just rolled the blunt as I watched mesmerized sitting in my excitement, curiosity, and nervousness. Weed was still very much illegal and I fancied myself as a sort of  good girl, so this was very exciting for me. 

He lit the blunt, and it was like the smoke danced across the room, seducing my sense of smell. I imagined one of those old cartoons where a character sees a  delicious meal and the smoke from the food plays around their head, prancing up, around and into their nose and picks them up as they float happily over to their desired meal. 

I watched, almost impatiently as they passed the blunt around to the three of them first. I observed carefully, watching how they inhaled, trying to catch whether they drink it down or hold it in their mouth and then swallow, and how long it took for them to blow it out. I paid attention to how thick each exhale was, and I breathed in the scent that lingered. 

Then it was my turn. I took hold of that blunt like a champ! Looked it right in the eye, or tip. I brought that bad boy to my lips and inhaled deeply, ssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

THAT WAS A MISTAKE! TOO MUCH! TOO MUCH! I coughed and gagged for what felt like 5 minutes straight. They were obviously amused, as one asked me why the hell did I hit it that hard my first time while shaking his head. But when the coughing stopped, I realized I did not feel like I felt before I had begun. I slumped back into the couch, looked up and stated, “I get it”. 

From there they helped me with my technique. I even learned how to do a shotgun, which was pretty sexy because I got one from my girl. From there, I developed a love for the Ganja, the Queen Mary, that Sticky Icky Ohhh!

Throughout my college years and the time there after I continued to indulge in Cannabis in secret amongst like minded individuals. Eventually, I thought of myself as a bit of a connoisseur. I mean, I certainly smoked enough to know a thing or two. 

Then life happened, and it happened the way that it usually does; chaotically!!!! 

I found myself having to make a decision that forced me to give up my love in order to get my life together. I knew that it would only be temporary. I knew I would be back. But for 5 years I stayed away from that world, peering in every once in a while, like a poor child walking past a toy store at Christmas time, unable to buy, but curious to all the delights that may be available to all those on the other side of that door. My world continued on, as the world of Cannabis grew like a, dare I say it, Weed! (Ha!) 

After my time was done, I ran back into the arms of my beloved, but she was different (yes, I refer to weed as a woman). She had grown, developed in ways that I was unable to comprehend. She even smoked a bit different. She came in all kids of different shapes, makes, and flavors. There were pens, and rocks, and crystals and wax and oils and…. dog food? I even learned there were people who smoked her without getting high… ON PURPOSE!!!! It was almost like she was another substance completely. But I was still in love and willing to learn. She was sold in stores, delivered to homes, and there were people making a lot of money off of her and they were not going to jail! That was the part that knocked me off my feet. 

*I want to take a moment to recognize, yes, this is a point where I could go into a long tangent about the history of cannabis, race relations, social equity, discrimination, etc. and we will certainly get to all that, but not right now*

Over the years, my personal growth and development, and spiritual advancement has led me to be the type of person that seeks out solutions to problems, rather than seeking out problems themselves. In the 5 years I was away I developed the most important relationship that a person can develop, the one with myself. I can truly say that I found God and she was in the most unassuming of places. I learned to trust myself, and to grow and to follow my purpose. That purpose is intertwined with Cannabis! 

Now, to be fair, I recognize some people may think, girl you just wanna get high you weed head. HEY! Stop That! I’m serious!

My desire is to see Black Women thrive! I want to see everyone win! (Not like in a Donald Trump like way) but right now there is a priority for me. There are a million tangents I can go on about the ways in which this world has let Black Women down, but as I said, I am a seeker of solutions and I’m telling you Cannabis is it! Never has there been a time, at least that I know of in my lifetime, where we are in a position to join an industry and have a real impact on it that is beneficial to us. We are so used to being people who sacrifice on the behalf of others. Black Women carry the world on our back and we are greeted with disdain, disrespect, and even indifference when it comes to issues of race. I’m not old, but I like to think that I have been around long enough to realize that no one is going to come to the aid of Black Women. Whatever it is we wish to accomplish, we must do it for ourselves and each other. We are the support system that we need but we have a habit of pouring energy into everyone else leaving nothing for ourselves. Not AnymoreI Say.

I choose to  be selfish! Black Women are amazing! We are Smart. We are funny! We are talented! We are strong! We are Ambitious! We achieve and we make everyone else around us better! Since no one else is going to make us a priority, then I WILL.

Contrary to the posts I read on the book of faces, there are a lot of ambitious Black Women out there looking to make their own moves. I see black women starting small businesses, pursuing new trades,  and jumping into and thriving in industries we have never shown up in before. It is nothing better than networking with a group of women at a function, creating new friends and inviting them over to smoke out as we discuss our ambitions and trade and collaborate on ideas and topics that expand further than our love lives. IT’S THE BEST!!!!! Literally one of my favorite things to do. And so I wanted to keep doing that. I wanted to create a space where Black Women felt comfortable to speak on their ambitions and desires without being judged by the world. I wanted to create a space where we can come together and collaborate in a way that lifts us all up and not just for ourselves, but for the communities we are all impacted by. 

I am creating a community of change makers and we are using the Cannabis industry as a vehicle for that goal. Why is that? Becauuusseeeee:

Black Women Lead

Black Women Achieve

Black Women Succeed

Then at the end of the day,

Black Women Weed

And there is nothing wrong with that!

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